Kiss Me Thru the Phone: Songs For Loneliness and Isolation
Photo by Savanna Ruedy
In this state of isolation, it’s very easy to feel lonely, whether social distancing amongst others or all by oneself. Art has always been a guiding force, especially in dark times, providing an escape from the present reality to an imaginative one and creating a temporary sense of relief. Below are five songs about the many shades of loneliness, some which raise spirits in their uptempo cadence, and others that offer a sympathetic solace through their crooning melodies. Regardless of how the song sounds, hearing another voice remark on feeling alone makes it harder to feel so stranded.
1. Lonely Sea- The Beach Boys (1963)
This Beach Boys song sounds nothing like the great hits of Pet Sounds, and doesn’t make you want to go to the beach. In fact, Brian Wilson’s use of water imagery is in no way related to surfing, but rather a metaphor for mortality. This track is Wilson’s Holden Caulfield moment, as the song explores layers of existentialism and perpetual misery that contradicts all the claustrophobic sunshine of “Surfin’ U.S.A.” “Lonely Sea” is made up of simple, repeated lines with a brief spoken-word section, all contributing to the notion that the world keeps moving as it has and will forever, shown in the brief line, “It never stops/ For you or me.”
Though “Lonely Sea” may be dark, it is also beautiful. Wilson’s voice enters the slow pattern of chords spun from a heavily tremeloe-d guitar with a swooping delicacy, imitating the motion of lulled waves or a coasting seagull. The harmonies add a depth of sound one minute into the song as Wilson croons, “That’s why my love/ You’ll never stay,” expressed with an earnest acceptance of the ways of the world. The whole track doesn’t overstay its welcome, a 2:23-minute vignette that adds a dash of realism to the Beach Boys’s catalogue.
2. Tired of Being Alone- Al Green (1971)
My brother says looking at Al Green’s smile will make you smile. When he sings there is a similar effect, even in a song as wistful and exasperated as this one. There is nothing like the horns of a soul song to give a serotonin boost, and the simple composition of this song gives enough groove to dance while dramatically singing along to a universal sentiment of frustrated desire. Green’s cries for companionship serve as a great expression of something people generally don’t like to admit. When he sings, “Won’t you help me girl/ Just as soon as you can,” his vocals turn into a downright plea, developing throughout the song as it fades into a chorus that repeats the phrase “I’m so tired of being alone,” as Green wails in unison. The sentiments of this song allows for the release of personal fatigue, while the music doesn’t allow for misery, since in his own way, Green makes the song a celebration.
3. Don’t Want to Know if You Are Lonely- Husker Dü (1986)
Husker Dü’s “Don’t Want To Know If You Are Lonely” is a realist’s breakup anthem. It doesn’t accuse and it doesn’t regret. It looks forward while acknowledging the situation for what it is: “decisions have been made/ the die has been cast.” The faithful belief of “what’s meant to be will be” is the song’s undercurrent, much healthier than the general “fuck you and die” mentality of a hardcore band. That’s the reason this song is so satisfying, the expression of aggression through power chords rather than the dismissal of another human being. Their hurt manages to be expressed while taking the higher road, a notion which is extremely admirable.
Despite having “lonely” in the title, the song doesn’t directly address the loneliness of the subject. Rather, it discusses the loneliness of another. This may be a more painful examination than the general self-revolvant quality that is a side-effect to heartbreak. To think of someone once cared for and attached to as now having a separate existence is plainly crushing. So when in the chorus Husker Dü confesses “Don’t want to know if you are lonely/ Don’t want to know if you are less than lonely,” it voices the lose-lose situation of an involuntary breakup. I don’t want you to be dwelling on my absence, I don’t want you to have moved on from my absence. A troubling dichotomy that Husker Dü delivers without an answer, but time heals all wounds, right?
4. “911/ Mr. Lonely”- Tyler the Creator (2017)
Tyler the Creator is a constantly evolving artist. “911/ Mr. Lonely” was one of the first singles released in anticipation for his fourth album “Flower Boy,” showing a softer contrast to his persona on earlier albums ''Goblin” and ''Wolf.” The song expresses the failings of fame’s appeal when there is no one to share it with as in the line, “Five-car garage/ Full tank of the gas/ But that don’t mean nothin’ without you shotgun in the passenger.” There is a vulnerability and near desperation in the song, hence the urgency of “911” in the title, but Tyler manages to use his wit and generally playful disposition to create the song’s danceable hooks and clever lyrics. When he raps, “I’m the loneliest man alive/ But I keep dancing to throw ‘em off,” the listeners get the sense this method was while creating the song, adding to the track’s already established autobiographical element.
Tyler enlists the help of his friends in “911/ Mr. Lonely,” bulking up the features to create a less desolate atmosphere, helping achieve a sense of community to ease the suffocating feeling of loneliness. Vocals from the beloved Frank Ocean, Steve Lacy and Anna of the North are often layered to add a communal effect, in turn enveloping the listener in sound and creating an auditory escape.
5. “Nobody”- Mitski (2018)
Mistki wrote “Nobody” while living in isolation in Malaysia during the holiday season, surrounded by strangers while her loved ones were celebrating thousands of miles away at home. Though the theme of loneliness is generally referring to romantic love in this song, Mitski’s feeling of utter solitude is tangible when she repeats the song’s title around thirty five times in the song, proposing she isn’t just in lieu of a romantic partner, but even just someone that knows her name.
“Nobody” opens with rapid sixteenth drum notes before Mitski utters the first line that encompasses her entire tone on the track: “My God I’m so lonely.” Though the song is an ode to loneliness, the lyrics are not strictly or inherently despairing. She shows self-awareness, “I don’t want your pity,” humor, “Venus, planet of love/ Was destroyed by global warming,” and fantasy, “Give me one good movie kiss” seamlessly, creating a well-rounded, honest portrait of human complexity and the want for what’s not readily unattainable.
The words and sound of “Nobody” exist in juxtaposition. The lyrics are an endless cycle of pleading for a partner, even just in temporary form, in a way that is overall hopeless and desperate. A universal feeling, of course, but the music carries the words of sorrow into a new place of enthusiasm and delight, turning the blues into a pop song.