Lime

‘She’s coming over tonight’, I tell Rob on the phone.

‘Uhmmm’, he says, clearly distracted. ‘That’s… great.’

‘Did you hear what I said?’

‘What?’

‘Rob! This is important! Just listen to me for five seconds please!’

‘It’s just that, Billy is really upset and I…’, he pauses for a few seconds, ‘Can’t find Ziggy’. I stare impatiently into the air. 

‘Rob! It’s always something isn’t it?’ I sigh. ‘And who the hell is Ziggy?’ 

‘Look, I’m sorry, but I have to go. I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re an amazing chef. Just whip out those absurdly big wine glasses. She’ll want to date you just for those. And put some lime in the water.’ He hangs up. I sigh again, even louder, as if he could still hear me. My phone beeps. ‘ziggy is his stuffed animal (the cat)!!’. I throw my phone on the couch. Ten minutes later I get another text, also from Robert. ‘sorry for being a shit friend… i love you!!! come down to mine tonight when she’s left (if she leaves lol).’ 

I find a scrap of paper, the back of a subway ticket, and start writing a list of things to buy. Peppers, tomatoes, tofu, coriander, coconut milk, curry paste, red wine, lime. 

The supermarket is busy, and my whole body feels weird restless. I pick up my phone and call my sister. 

‘They have moved things around since I was here last’, I say as she answers.’

‘What, who’s this?’

‘What do you mean ‘who’s this’ you saw my name on the display when you answered you twat.’

‘I’m in the car.’

‘Right. Sorry, it’s me.’

‘Yeah, I got that. Where are you anyway?’

‘My Sainsbury’s. The one on the corner. The one where dreams come true. And nothing’s the same.’

‘Shut up. When was the last time you went to Sainsbury’s? You always shop at Tesco. You’re such an idiot.’

‘Coconut milk in the cereal aisle, limes where the onions used to be, the meat next to disposables… Did they try to make a climate unfriendly corner or what? And the candy aisle… has switched place with the shower-gel-hair-dying-shaving-kit-aisle. What’s the point, when they were already next to one another? Did the manager walk into work really fucking bored one day and just felt like make some BIG changes?’

‘Sophia, I am hanging up.’

‘No, wait, listen stay, I’m just nervous and Robert doesn’t have time for me, he just wants to stare at his kid.’ 

‘You need so much fucking attention. You’re the kid.’ She is silent for a few seconds while I scan the milk aisle for my regular brand. ‘Listen, don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Put some lime in the water, that’s what Robert always does.’ She hangs up.

I spend another ten minutes trying to find the tofu, the shelf where it has always been is now full of ready-made microwaveable puddings. I walk home with my headphones still in, but I don’t bother putting on music. When I reach the first floor of my building I kick Robert’s door, the one with the old sign saying R & D. Adams. and walk away quickly. ‘God I am such a child.’ I mumble. ‘I feel bad for him, I do. I mean, it’s not like ‘D.’ is anywhere to be seen these days… And Rob is reminded by that sign every time he comes home.’ I hear echoes of footsteps, and I stop talking. It’s a bad habit of mine, this talking to myself. I rush up the seven floors, red and out of breath when I reach my own door. It only has one name on it, it has always had only one name on it. I fumble with the keys and the lime fruit falls out of one of the bags. I make no motion to grab it, I just watch it bounce, closer and closer to edge of the stairs, until it falls down a couple of steps and plunges into that gap where you can peek all the way down to the bottom floor. I listen to it land with a distant. Maybe Robert will see it. I don’t even need a fucking lime anyway. 

I fry the tofu, chop the coriander. I set the table. The wine glasses really are massive. There’s always so much more air than wine in them, it looks silly. Why did I even buy them? What single person has their own set of wine glasses anyway? 

The doorbell rings. It’s Max. I open the door and she hugs me before I have time to think. Her lips are painted red, she’s wearing a black top and she carries some flowers. She looks really nice. She gives me the flowers, and I can’t help but think that they shouldn’t be separated from her, they seem to look so much nicer next to her face. ‘I found this lime downstairs and felt bad for it. Can we give it a new home?’. Her eyes sparkle and I feel lighter already.