Guilty as Charged

Every gay individual has a unique journey with coming to terms with their sexuality. Woefully there are less fortunate individuals whose journey is more treacherous than others. For many, being gay in a heteronormative world feels like being sentenced to a life of imprisonment within oneself. Banished and locked away within one's soul. Guilt, pain, demise, rebelliousness, pride, and love are emotions I felt throughout my coming out experience. Each photograph addresses one emotion through composition, color, and text. Not only did I want to tell my story, but I also wanted to create an experience for the viewer through design. I cannot remember my ‘pre-out’ persona, only the emotions. Therefore personally, this project was to reflect on my past and try to figure out who I once was. Self and past are expressed with images of my childhood, pictures of family members, and parts of my last name (Gutierrez). Guilt, pain, and demise are colorful images because I mainly experienced those emotions during my younger years, so the color represents innocence and childhood. The latter images are the emotions experienced in my teen years, so the colors are refined and matured. By the end of this project, I recalled my past self. I was a child filled with dreams and curiosity, unknowingly surrounded by love, and I yearned for the day where I could be an openly confident, gay man. Which I presently am, and so as I close this project, my journey is also coming to an end.